to the one who's trying you're an exception to the crowd im mentioning in my cry.
familiar faces..
accomplishments..
and unfufilled wishes.
the heart invasion that went seriously off course, and didn't hit the heart.
yet this hypothetical nonscrap through time created magic,
called Bonding.
others have tried hard, but can their hearts catch up with their tongues?
assurance without tangibility is nonscrap.
is your pride taking its seat now?
are your insecurities flowing into your cup now?
are you stirring a dislike in me now
or simply, you have an idea of compassion, but just didn't choose to execute it as actions?
1:01 AM 
Saturday, August 30, 2008
is like a robot trying to learn about relationship.
me trying to learn about the meaning of time
is like a robot trying to learn about the passing of someone.
what was i trying so hard for?
just what am i trying to achieve
in the things that i know wont last forever
yet in a spirit of cowardice have i hidden in the darkness.
cowardice of unacceptance from family
the family which i started from.
what bravery of a man is,
when he is afraid to even see face to face with the unchangable truths of his heart?
o what competence it is!
to be losing to the core of his soul when outside he is winning this world?
what shame,
to the one who cannot love.
the robot child.
robots will do just fine if they dont have a soul.
deep in my vast sea of knowledge i still havent deny i'm human.
the cry of your soul;
the robot child,
i'm just one, of the many of this world.
but i'm glad i've met the only counsellor capable to heal a robot's damaged heart.
1:14 PM
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
[James 1:2-8]
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.
[James 1:19-20]
Everyone shoukd be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
[James 2:22]
You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.
[James 2:24]
You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.
[James 3:13-18]
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you habour bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" odes not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition there you find disorder and every evil practice.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
hohh, yeah, what am i doing? i'm writing down the paragraphs that struck me as i read...
Grace and peace be with you all.. :)
12:59 AM
Monday, August 25, 2008
ESPECIALLY for MOI students, i strongly believe this is very useful.
about sound quality in our videos/animation. i think much of the focus we have is on the visuals only, not mentioning story plot.
pause my song and watch the
HONDA CAR AD.
AND IT'S MAKING!!
THERE IS SO MUCH TO LEARN FROM THEIR SPIRIT OF EXECELLENCE AS A DESIGN STUDENT.
it's what i'm talking about man. it's not impossible to live the dream of perfection.
10:55 PM
Accuracy depends on the dimensions of your selected area.
-Newell
10:04 PM
do you prioritise a secure future or a living future?
even 3rd world kids would dream of being an artist.
dont stereotype that artist means you must use paint and draw. :)
today someone told me about my course. nth against this person seriously. but apparently this person thought that my course Moving Images means we just do literally what our course name says. we move images. ??! zz.
TP is especially known for it's Design School, or rather, TP Design School is known especially in the design field (ehhem), incase no one still knows. therefore obviously the way of teaching must be credited for that nationwide and beyond recognition. so why would there still have people who doubt that design students can get employed?
one phrase for you: your god is too safe.
go think about it, if u can. :)
the very keyboard you typed my blog url with was designed. or maybe you used the mouse to click the History / Favorites(awww~) button, but still your mouse was designed. you feeling comfortable now? your chair was designed meant to let you feel that way man.
even webpages are designed! right ahbe?
so this person thought why would my course needa teach me abt photography fundamentals. well, let me just put it this way: film, is animated photographs. makes sense isnt it?
apparently TP design sch teaching system doesnt just make sure its students can produce work but they make sure we are qualified to be a real designer. but to gain your own legacy you have to work your life for it, better start since young. actually most of what the lecturers do in design school is warning you and inspiring you. while most of mediocre teachers from other school, they tell.
everyone was meant to be a star. the thing about humans is we actually love to create. if you dont, it means you had confined yourself to some pattern or law of the majority. if you dont realise that, it means you havent explored the world enough :)
dont believe so? imagine:
this world doesnt work the way it currently does. there's no art, there's no such thing as designers or artists. everything is very systematic robotic, even in business. but you are still the you you are now. what's the next thing you'd do? you will first wonder, as of your existence into this world. then maybe you will start to imagine something beyond that of what this (new) world makes you think. that is the first sign of the creationist in you. it's that desire man.
if you say, no, you wont even start imagining... but you know what? your first thought was the act of 'wondering'. that already shows that we humans were not created to fall-in to the queue and run errands. you wouldn't want that to be the purpose of your existence.. you have to answer your heart you know?
...
You can still be the artist of your field even if you aren't in design school.
come on, we all started of as imagineers as well as believers of heaven. dont tell me you were never once a baby! the problem now would most probably be about memory.
my point for this post being, the full glory of creation design can never be comprehended when you first dont have the guts to dare to try being an artist for a minute. Genuinely.
(this post itself is a work of art brought to you by newell. because it's meant to inspire)
8:04 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
BEECOURSE, OH SO WONDERFULLY, IT IS WET WHOLE DAY!!!!!
RAINING! WATER EVERYWHERE! WEEEEEE~
THE SKY'S COLOUR LOOK LIKE WAVES'
AND THE AIR'S COLOUR LOOK LIKE PLAIN WATER'S
AND THE AIR HAVE SO MUCH H2O!!!!!
i love water i dunno why. even my drinks i love translucent drinks, the more transparent it is the better.<BR>
today is a day worthy of blogging because today have lots of water!
im practicing singing now. i think can say that it's something i like to do now and then in between the hours of a day. it's also one of the cheapest hobby, HAHA.
7:39 PM
spiritual restoration. heart healing. does it all come from a higher level of human's power of recovery?
i'm so used to logicalize everything. to say in my human perspective i can see the possibility of the unauthenticity of any divine intenvention activity taking place during faith practicing by faith-filled individuals.
yet at the same time i remember very personal heart restorations through faith. and also have tasted before the triumph of living according to biblical principles during the daily walks of life. such practice has brought much benefits for humanitary purposes surrounding me. lives have changed. also the witnessing of close friends experiencing victories over original past struggles in receiving of the faith.
yet at the same time, im wondering. what if prayer making is just a ministering of the individual's psychic abilities? through faith and living in faith an individual gained access to his inner self, tapping into his own psychic, with a strong believe that there's something more than what they currently have, and it'd be a belief that draws them nearer to the souce, that's in all of us? alright, this is when New Age comes in eh?
but of cos, never would i just end the discussion between the different opinions of my mind just like that. i'd always want to end it of with something that coincide with the conviction my heart has.
so as i was thinking halfway, i suddenly recalled...
my past experiences of encountering ghosts and beings from the other realm.. i remember how different I felt when those sightings and encounters happened. It was really entirely outside from what this world could possibly make you feel. and so i thought to myself, those were experiences that also felt like they are as if very imaginative and very extreme. but i know what i've felt... and if this was true that a realm like this exists in our time and space, just beyond our comprehension, then it is highly possible that the divinity of God exists too. maybe it's all just beyond human comprehension.
and to add on of what the Bible says, it says that God allowed everything to happen to one for a reason.
are you able to you see it..? i dont know for you. but for me, i see what a Book oh so perfectly had covered everything of Human's existence.
2:02 AM
Saturday, August 23, 2008
haha. yea not really inspired but have a couple things to share. :]
i believed my my heart has been changed by God tonight from the JUMP (Jesus U Must Praise!) concert.
"but God is a God who restores the weary souls," a Source inexhaustible.
in a lot of ways, God has tried to speak to me pertaining my growing bitterness that i've sitrred up recently.
Desires of a complete Family. the woman He sent to testify about the change (and saving) of hear heart in the situatioin that her family gave her.
In her first sentence when she started saying, "I grew up in a family where my father is not around." my heart already started to tremble as I know God is going to speak to me. and he wants to tell me some things.
a summary to her testimony: but there is a Father in Heaven who cares and loves me.
you know, some of you reading this now might yet to be a believer of Jesus, and you might be thinking that Christians became Christians because they needed to have that experience to fill up the hole in their heart caused by misfortunate events that have hurt them in their life. and probably you might be thinking this God-thing is just fake, and a successful illusion that could hallucinate a healing for ppl like me which is why it is especially appealing for ppl like me to adpot or to believe in.
however you know what? God is not just needed by ppl with a sad hurting past. Everyone needs God in their life. and it's for all the personal issues that every human has. eg.: you are facing the issue of sadness and loneliness alone. last time, currently, sooner or later.
God is someone who will lives in your heart and his Holy Spirit counsels you so that you wont have to face the obstacles in life alone, and you won't be able to..
however, moving on to my story...
remember i said about the growing bitterness in me?
I wont share everything here cos i wont be able to. but i'll just cut short to some points.
In my heart i wanted to badly, someone, an adult, because they signifies a parent, to come to tell me saying "yes newell, you've suffered alot didnt you. despite all the grueling tough times but you still manage to make it to today didnt you. you've been very lonely all your life right... but you've been very perservering i know. you do not have anything else, your only life is what you have left and you do not want to let go of it either, so you worked extremely hard to gain credible skills. the talents you have today were the results of your past hardwork.. you have spent much time thinking, trying to logicalise everything on earth to make sense of which your life is involved in. and you've gained much knowledge and wisdom. you are incredible, but you have walked a lonely road"
i wanted so badly to have acknowledgement from someone, just to let the person know that i was so poor thing. i wanted so badly to gain the attention from people that i couldnt gain from my parents. i deeply thirst for praises by adults, someone who have an adult mentality. all this while although i knew that God knows all of that which i've suffered through and all my lonely yet victorious achivements, but i wasn't satisfied because i wanted it not from someone invisible but from someone seenable and touchable, someone that's a human. i became so displeased with God that he didnt send me one. I know i was being childish, but i justified to myself telling God what's wrong with a child being childish?? I am a child stucked in a grown body!
so carrying that bitterness with me to last night's JUMP concert, I watched out for anything that God will use to speak to me. But i teared when i hear him through the singers talking and the songs during worship. as i felt what god spoke to me. so with a disciplined mind, i asked that unperishable question i had all this while. i thought that since God whom is also my Father in heaven, he should know everything about me. I know god didnt send that man i want for a reason.
so i asked God "what do you say about me then. if i cant get a human opinion..."
and God said to my heart..., "You are my child."
God's acknowledgement:
then i just froze for a moment. and i soon realise that God has thought that I am His child... and that's even more than what i want from some adult to think about me as perservering and pitiful...
Jesus...
4:45 AM
i just wanna say four things i feel, that are pertaining to thinkers.
joseph! i know you're looking at this right now and you must be very interested to know rite?? haha
(like duh, cos if you were reading you'll be really looking at this right now;)
ANYWAY; here is my say:
1) the best decision by a highly intellective guy to choose to do would possibly be -> approach of gentleness.
2) conforming is the act of the mind. conviction should come from the heart.
3) [(HIGHLIGHT) for thinkers, and people who think] Holy Spirit can be accompanied with you as you do things, but doesn't mean you're working together as you do the things you do. do consult the Holy Spirit. :)
4) an extended period of intellectualizing things kills one actually. you won't get any answers in the end. (refer to point 2 for help, if you think you're in this category :))
OK! right now im gonna do my quiettime,
i shall see is there any inspiration i might get after doing my quiettime! buaiiX* for now. (eek.)
2:38 AM
Thursday, August 21, 2008
i wonder was the warmth due to me opening up.
anyway
i just saw your blog post,
and i think. i want to let you know that dont worry, its ok.
i know you're a different person to begin with,
you have an equal amount of good as him
so, dont compare. it hurts me when you self-condemn.
i know you're trying.
i didnt know you're waiting.
cos i was waiting.
and i didnt know what you were trying.
but after hearing what a message you sent her so long ago,
i didnt know since so long ago you have worried.
im sorry if im not growing,
but you are still my shepherd.
10:29 PM
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world, mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world, mad world
Enlargen your world
Mad world.
lyrics: mad world - gary jules
8:46 PM
Sunday, August 17, 2008
11:02 PM
Saturday, August 16, 2008
11:01 AM
Thursday, August 14, 2008
BUT THERE IS A MQARDRUISHYMYMTZ OF WORK I'M LEFT TO DO.
I'M GONNA WRITE IT ALL DOWN HERE SO I CAN UPDATE MYSELF HOW COMPLETED AM I.
TO FLICKING DO LIST!:
-Long Biography! ~3.3%!!
-Group Skit Script! 10%!!!!!
-10 Journal Entries! ~3.3%!!
-5.5 Sypnosises and Reflections! ~3.3%!!
-6 Page Story of Grandmother Ghost Encounter. 50%!!!!!
SET OBJECTIVES!
TODAY!:
-Group Skit Script!!
-3 Journals!
-1.5 S&R!
FRIDAY!:
-Long Bio!!!!!
-3 Journals!
-2 S&R!!
SATURDAY!:
-3 Journals!
-2 S&R!
-START ON STORY!
SUNDAY!:
-1 Journal!!!!
-STORY!!
MONDAY!:
-STORY STORY STORY!
TUESDAY!:
-SKIT!!
-STORY STORY STORY!!!
-1 Journal!
-1 S&R!
WEDNESDAY!:
-STORY STORY STORY FINALE!!!!!!!!!
-1 Journal!
-1 S&R!
THURSDAY!:
-SUBMISSION OF 50% OVERALL ASSIGNMENT!!!!!
-SUMBISSION OF JOURNALS AND S&Rs!!!!!
-HOLIDAY!!!!!!!
FRI, SAT, SUN!!!:
-HOLIDAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS +DD
Monday:
-new block new module -.-
4:48 PM
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
and why you felt comforted when you cry.
cause it is when you are true to yourself.
i know because i'm the same..
and i just found out just now
12:22 AM
Sunday, August 10, 2008
i know today i really want to blog.
and i really wanna be all natural and straight from the heart.
not write anything through deep thinking, write anything abstract or artistic, and not write anything manipulative or what.
i really have alot of things i wanna blog about but i hope i wont write a long post again though.
alot of things really happened today.
i think the sermon today is very true that 'writing makes a man precise'.
i think one of my greatest weakness is about precision, and it is because i didnt learn to write down when i feel something. and when i dont write im not precise to myself and others cant get my point. and im also not precise to myself. although i know what im knowing and i know what im thinking but i couldnt repeat to myself what i just knew and what i just thought. and sometimes i can just fall into sin without knowing the reason why i decided to let go myself. i thought it was very stupid of me.
i feel very down that all the time when i know i want to blog something, and i know what i will blog, i will speak out those sentences in my head, but when i went to the front of my computer and the composing page to blog, i dont know what to blog. i forgot almost all of the sentences i have in my head just now, i forgot how my blog will be like. and i feel very worried about this weakness i have because those messages i have are important but i buried them before i am able to say them. i am really very scared.
tonight i suddenly felt very fearful in my heart, since the bustrip home in 4n bus. i became overwhelmed by the fear. when the two guys sitting behind us were angry and irritated by our talks about the christianity and the bible, i suddenly became very insecure. i feel threatened by their fierceness. it felt as if my heart became very small inside my chest. i somehow got this fear and feeling that they are able to hurt me. i dont know why i have such strong fear. but i realised recently, when this fear comes to my heart, i was always reminded of the past i had in my childhood. i always see my father's violence, and it's coming straight at me. i also have the fearfing feeling inside me that i got no way to run and there's no escape from those walls. i really dont know why i will remember these things that happened in the past, for i thought i've already forgotten clean them all. i dunno. then i get reminded of the feeling i had when im burdened about someone and really pray for that person with all my heart. i always have that sense of bitter bitterness and that very despair sense in me. i will use the loneliness i have experienced before to use to relate to them and i'd want to feel the pain and suffering they're feeling because i desire it. i thought of giving them company so that im in the same boat as them, and then from that place of the heart i would go and seek God and pray for them. it stated from the spiritual gifting test that my thrid spiritual gift is the Gift of Mercy. so i thought that it was normal for me to behave like that. but somehow there's this feeling in me now that's telling me that that is not correct, what is right is someting else and not this bitter bitterness. i feel that now it's really a complication of negative feelings or energy reigning in me and the Devil made use of those feelings i have to attempt to drown me. like making me suffocate to death.
when i see those two guys unknowningly my heart is feeling burdened because i feel that the emotion from them is like a giant and my heart is weak and small. then i start to cower and i start to frantic that i cant do anything to this Giant emotion. and as i further withdraw myself i will feel lonelineness that 'no im alone and i cant face this on my own' and then i feel trapped in between the tight walls and really fear is taking over me.
i remember just now i kept lowering and hiding my face behind the handel of the chair so that i wont see the two guys and they wont see me so much. i got this urge to run to a place safe.
so even when after ahbe and pris alighted from their stop, i was feeling afraid of the darkness of the night which i always wont be afriad of it.., infact always i'll think that it is cooling and peaceful and exciting. i look around me after i alighted at my stop and there wasnt a single person. i was so unbelievingly afraid of it. i'd normally liked it but not tonight. when i approached my void deck, i saw the remaining few people of a malay wedding that took place in the afternoon and by that sight of people, i felt much relieved. i got make some small prayer or talking to God along the way..
even now as i'm blogging i still have that fear...
i think i shall move on to another topic. about unbelieving people towards Christianity..
i heard this song by Casting Crowns it's called What The World Needs... and somewhere in the 3/4 part of the song there is this part where there's people talking. and i think that what they say is really the reality. the people in the song said:
"People are confused by the Gospel.
They're confused by us.
Jesus is the only way to God but we are not the only way to Jesus.
Cos this world doesn't need my tie, my hoodie, my dinomination or my translation of the Bible.
They just need Jesus.
We can be passionate about what we believe,
But we can't strap ourselves to the Gospel
Cos we're slowing it down.
Jesus is going to save the world,
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way."
i start to think of my classmates, and i think i'm the one really slowing them down. those people can't see the Light of God reflecting from me and therefore they can't see God. i was called to be Christ's ambassador but what i've really imprinted to my friends are not the fruits of the Spirit of Jesus but nonsensical coarse jokes. i gave in to my own nature self instead of living in the Spirit of Jesus in me which i received it on the day i chose to follow Him. What would Jesus do if he was in my class instead of me? He'd set a good example to all my friends , he'd reach out to those who are in the darkness of their life and carve them the way out. he'd build friendship with everyone and tell them what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. he'd not prioritise his school work over the mission to bring everyone to the Light. he'd not worry for the temporary school work but he'd worry for his friends that are far from the Light instead. he will not hesitate to show love and embrace to the ones who are lonely but he'd spend time with them to comfort them. there's many things Jesus would do in my class that i won't and didn't. am i being the good Salt and Light in my class, no im slowing down their salvation.
"i can be passionate about what i believe, but i cant strap myself to the Gospel because I'm slowing it down."
Cheryl wants to meet Jesus not me.
Ming han wants to see the Light but not my light.
Yanjun needs the Relationship not just classmateship.
Kin wants to have Father who will love, protect and bless his brother, not a christian classmate.
Kester wants that Friend that unconditionally accept him, not a friend he can place anything less than a hundred percent of security in.
Yiling needs to see the light of the star she was called to become in Christ for Christ, not just a warm and loving community.
Alvin needs the love that a heavenly Father could give, not an imperfect love by man.
Kangling wants to see the Love, not the compassionate characteristics of a Christian.
Johanson needs his Best Friend to give him support, not a religion that just talks of the promise of eternalty and teaches the ways he should live.
and have i contributed as i live my ways?
The idea that God loved man so much that he want them to have the freewill to serve him and the freewill to love him but not doing it out of force, when the thing He wanted most was to have a relationship with us, yet allowed such riskiness to exist by the grant of freewill to all man, because to all man He loved. and loved, that when He saw the inevitable doom man have to face He made the bridge that man can never build by asking His son to die on the cross 2008 yrs ago for the wages of every man's sins, so that the Kingdom of Heaven is now even closer to all.
just how much His love stretches for me i will never be able to comprehend, where i can only use 3% of my brain. He said love is patient in his Word, and how patient has he been with me, when im ignoring Him in my life in class, my life outside class, and my life at home. God said that if to have public victory, i must first have private victory. oh God, but you allow U-turns. I thank You for everything.
when Jesus saw their faith he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven." [Luke 5:20]
6:26 AM
3:59 AM
Saturday, August 9, 2008
i ish now blogging for the sake of blogginx desu.
hows you ppl?
bye!
2:05 AM
Sunday, August 3, 2008
2:36 AM
i get the joy in what i'm doing only when i see the value in doing it.
i'm not getting the joy
2:00 AM
the soul is weak because it is fighting alone. almost even good friends cant fight with you because everyone came from different lives and the souls are put in different places on the field. In the scriptures it says God himself exist as the holy trinity, in his spirit form he fights alongside with the weak who seeked him and comforts the weak who seeked him. he is the encourager that boosts the spirit of one to a victorious one. they will sore with wings like eagles. he will use the foolish to shame the wise, the weak to triumph the strong people that dont seek his help. even when you have a bestestest friend, in ur shared quiet times both you guys will agree to choose to give up this soulfight together. where both of you are on the battlefield you choose not to care but just wanna a escape, as both of you think that the world's too much to handel. the fact is you lose..., the difference is Jesus saves....
12:49 AM
Saturday, August 2, 2008
ha.
neways i watched the channelu korean ghost moive called Voice (Letter) just now and it was damn good. the show is true in its horror and despair, and it's all about the game relationship we all humans must play. the show talked about a love 'rectangle' between 3 lesbians and a good (straight?) girlfriend. one of them was a music teacher. it all took place in a highschool, which was way cooler than damai sec or TP. ha. it's even nicer than RP. including the uniforms and facilities. man, when will singapore have heavenly schools like this existing?
[url]http://www.delta-anime.com/images/Whisp4_Voice_Letter.jpg[/url]
[url]http://cinema.coreen.free.fr/img/dvd/300/poster.jpg[/url]
[url]http://www.ethaicd.com/img/22105.jpg[/url]
neways back abt the movie, it reflects on an issue which i, for long, have also suspected a truth that was undiscovered and hidden from our daily consciousness. the conscience that was blocked out by desires. it's shows the human struggle of being either one of the two we can choose to be.
1)the being of love, the being to have a good relationship with others, the holy self.
or
2)the being of selfishness, the one we seek power to manipulate ppl and things to get what we want, the impatient, greediness of insecurity to fill the temporal period of our life. aka, the mortal life.
the more stories i watch that talked about relationships, the more similarities i see in them. and that that was portrayed in the movies reflects the reality of mankind. i geniuniely feel that we humans is made up of 2 different selfs. and each one of us has had the battle in ourselves to be the self we want to choose to be. but by the way i see humans, i see that most of us has chosen to give up the battle to be what the self our souls wants to be - that is the 1st kind i mentioned. because we dont have the strenght. in quietness, we wept in the darkest corners of our heart, unknown to friends, familes, and sometimes even we ourselves didnt take notice.
i really feel the existence of a God-shape void in all of our hearts. there is this restless soul we have, always searching to fill up that void. there is this yearning in our souls to want to go back to our hero's presence. just a note that even if i wasnt a christian, that statement i made still retains its same essence and feeling in my heart if i havent turned to be a believer.
i feel there is this damned war that we are all doomed to be in. it's just so hard to have that energy to substain our souls to find that Light. i feel that we are all weak beings, a one-man army war with the Distance of the two Worlds. it doesnt count even if you have friends or not.. its no use. it's a common war all of us are put in different locations and each of us have a different direction and path to go..
we are exhausted beings with exhausted souls, old, dirty, faint, broken, torn apart to many pieces - like a decomposing body. but i feel that our souls all looks to the same direction - heavenward. and we tried many attempts and methods to reach back there. perhaps is to God.
back to that one true relationship we once had.
this is when i see the things that the Bible mentioned kicking in. it was said that all humans was created to worship and have a relationship with God. none of us were a mistake, and all of us were planned and given life to exist to do a contribution on earth. but all of us dont have the strength we originally have before our relationship was broken with God. it's is because of the sinful nature we inherited from adam and eve, our fore father and mother. They didnt keep the strength to hold on to the relationship with God so that has been passed down to their decendents. things we did which we dont really want to do on earth, our hearts sunk into guilt, shame and despair. as children of God, yet weak for we've sinned and havent seek the help from the Saviour Jesus Christ. in name of love, whose life was given to man to die for our sins as a ransom and whose blood cleanses the soul so that all who believed follows Jesus who sets the Right path for us so that we can be redeemed. it is The Answer to all your woes and cries. the soul first needs the forgiveness of a saviour, before it can have strength to follow, and to be nurtured victorious in many ways bringing down walls of the enemy. and why would ever a soul turned to be so prosperous is because God loves man and wants to give gifts to him, why all of us has a unique strength in life. the bible says that once the heart believes that Jesus died for them, and he is the bridge to God, the old has gone and the new has come. one is born again in Christ with a renewed soul. healed and cleansed and found the Right path. there, the purpose of man is dugged out from the depths of the heart into light, and a life on earth would finally be fufilling.
this would be my conviction. it's ok if you dont believe it now though..
to be honest, i'm not confidient with my words and english.. although i am worried that what i've said would be interpreted wrongly, i pray that it wouldn't. and i hope that something did struck you, if you are not yet a believer of jesus christ.
2:09 AM
