Friday, September 26, 2008
Life isn't about perfection...it's about making the most of our limitations count!
The two words bring me back to the circus arena, where as children (and even as adults), we would stand in awe of those jugglers who managed to walk a tightrope, keep their balance and yet juggle with ease. How could they do it?
What we need to really reflect upon is whether we have a balanced perspective on the life we lead today-or are we too ambitious and want to juggle too many things in such a short space of time?
Take time to look at what your juggling today-and don't forget to see how far the drop would be if you try too hard to please too many people and lose balance of your life..
SELAH.
it sang "i remembered the times we had"..
i felt bad last night, very bad.
it hurts so much, and I wished that I have telekinetic abilities to talk to you.
believe it or not, you mean very much to me.
i dont wish to see anyone walking down the same path that i did last time.
actually, there's no one else but you who can walk down that same path as mine.
i tried, and tried,
"change your course, there's this better pathway beyond your clouded field of vision.
this i am certain of.
you will be going down a pathway filled with sufferings and darkness unless you realise it now and choose to change your course.
that's why you must know, that
dont let your troubled mind lead you there.
dont get spirited away...
darkness seduces you by first making you feel better...
but life a theif, it steals away your heart and devours your soul without you knowing.
we sometimes forget about our problems, like any other minor problem.
but as long as it concerns your life significantly, it'll always come back to haunt you.
unless the roots are tended and healed.
are yours?
maybe,
you should say no in disagreement to things that I say more.
i'm sure not wholly everything I said you agreed. esp abt my God.
please let me know, i dont want you to just listen my speech. i want you to understand.
for it's not about me most of the time..,
but it's about you..
that's why i want to talk to you.
i'll do just fine myself.
what made me believed in talking to you was
the fact that I believe you will be saved.
it was my heart's desire since everything started..
and if they didnt come true I'd be having my nightmare....
and only God knows how long it'll take me to heal..
but yet, I wasn't trying to be about it.
you're the priority.
And who I just want to help.
I've,
probably forgotten about 70% of what I wanted to say initially!!
this sheet always happens when I'm in the perfect feeling to blog, so i naturally processed what I'm going to blog in my mind ya, and when I finally make it to be at the front of my com sitting on my com chair, at the "create post" page, I JUST GO BLANK!.
ANYWAY, i'll just write down what i can still rmb la.
i rmb something abt transitions in life.
it will happen, this is how it is designed, so deal with it biblically.
also i rmb something abt myself.
it's smth abt..
i try very hard to become the new better person that i could able to forsee in my past, that being all knowing of the detailed details of personality/character/person/moral of myself that what would lead to what and what means what, i became too overly cautious with my every step, trying to aim perfection in all little things, towards being the person that i forsee myself able to be.
AND THE PROBLEM IS:
now no one can see what am I really.
the essence of Newell is deeply compressed into a core and stored inside the center of my heart.
but i've come to realised through some things in life that i shouldnt hide myself THAT much out of humility and carefulness, BUT who I am should come out from the inside and fill up every flesh of my flesh, up to the skin. i've come to think that PERHAPS, what was my original intention, though it's a good one, is now blurred as time passes what caused me to hide myself was because of this thing called: PRIDE. cos i dont want anyone to see my flaws.
i think i should really start to be true to who newell is, and my very soul should be as large in size as my body! i think this way, people can see who i really am and there will be more securities in my friendships.
i was so scared to make any one mistake. cos i experiencially believed that sometimes it just takes a single mistake to kill others. that simple. but however. in exchange of not making any mistakes to others, i made nothing for others. no one can get any rich piece of me because i didnt offer them. i was so worried that i speak of imperfect words of wisdom that it'd actually create obstacles that hinders others to see the light of God. but now, suddenly but slowly, i rmb what i once believed. that God works through precisely the imperfectness to showcase His perfection, power and omnipotence to the seeking one. what i mean is, it is true that God works through the mundane things everyday, grasping all opportunity to reach the hearts of everyone. to heal.
i shouldnt be afraid of making mistakes. i know my intentions are good and pure before the Lord. pray all times for his grace over my possibly-made-but-unknown mistakes.
and, If one is not making any mistakes, He is not doing anything.
How true this statement is to me now..
He dares to do all things that he needs to become a true man. Anyone who dares to do more is none.
macbeth said that too.
a question i asked myself: now am I being the He?
no. because i tried to do something more, by simply not doing anything, to not do any mistakes.
Amen,
amen.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
If all I had was one last breath
I'd spend it just to sing Your praise
Just to say Your name
If all I had was one last prayer
I'd pray it cause I know you're always listening
If I could live a thousand lives
or bind the hands of time
I would spend every moment by Your side
If all I had was one more song to sing
I would raise a noise to make the Heavens ring
If all I had was one last chance
I'd take it, I would stake it all on You
If I could rise up high
and catch a glimpse of every eye
I would make them believe what I feel inside
Cause I
I know You're there
I know You see me
You're the air I breathe
You are the ground beneath me
And I can find you anywhere
If I could live a thousand lives and bind the hands of time
Rise up high and catch a glimpse of every eye, make them believe what I wholly feel inside.
the star You are calling forth in us, so that its light will shine the brightest as the land gets darker.
oh my heart what shall I do?
learn to repent and say I do..
Friday, September 19, 2008
I pray for those people, to want to put a stop to it,
God I really believe
despite all my shifting perspectives
that a problem really exist,
from another one perspective, and that is the Soul.
God I pray for those people,
that help will come to them soon.
As much of them as possible would feel
that something's not right and it should be stop, and will seek help.
In Jesus name,
Amen.
Monday, September 15, 2008
now i wanna blog something else.
What is what?
Right, left, right, right, left, left, right, left.
Fine I stop.
Lord I just wanna keep quiet and see what You will do.
Only You know.
I ask myself again:
Am I exaggerating? Lord I don't think so. Really. Lord. No..
But why
The phone's ringing
But it's unanswered.
You've got a call from the center of my heart, You are there, I know You know.
10/10 is Perfection, like You but far.
You said we should give our best.
Why is there only one in a million who dared to aim for 9?
Familiar faces settle at 4 to 6 with their isolated 9 staring at them.
A desperate kid tries to presage them helplessly as no one responds.
Not a time one lights The fire.
Am not wrong am I to say the foresight brings about melancholy?
Thus he has the spirit that is dumb and couldn't speak.
Mask and bounded and magnified.
A feeling impossible to feel, unless he's really real.
he knows what he has done.
he knows what is the situation.
Back in the empty room with the table in the center and a phone on top is still ringing.
I'm almost going to breathe in patience in the air.
That's my heart's call as I wait with my head hung low.
I used to think I'm alone but now I believe You're there.
But You didn't answer me made me feel maybe You're not there.
But Your word says "be patient, my child."
Should I just lift up my head, will I see You here..
Patience in tribulation. Meanwhile rejoice in hope, that's what You might want me to be.
Or do You want me to try a 9.5 effort? Probably in this 9.0 mess?
Friday, September 12, 2008
~ ~ our presence in school, our fun, designer style.
(those not in this foto ur not forgotten!) With each passing year comes another candle to blow,
another memory to forge and another hurdle to
surpass. Stay happy and flexible so you can leap
across those hurdles!
Haha, it's was nice to know everyone, enjoy today in class.
they cause a big change in me, base on what i can remember.
let me capture these times in photographs, like taking down notes.
my card "get well soon" with pinkarange floral deco.
it's not what u think.
@home
back2class
Thursday, September 11, 2008
actually sometime ago i promised to blog about something. around few weeks back.
i actually wanted to blog about my classmates.
I thank God for them, and I feel blessed to have them as my classmates.
so what is it about them that I'm so grateful for?
actually have anyone realised, everyone in this class are such caring people.
i've always wanted to blog about this but i was too procrastinating until it's finally my birthday day. haha.
there's many things to show this class is caring. we hang out tgt, we invited everyone on day 1, we started off as people who spared a thought for others when we're completely strangers.
it seems almost as if we've all forgotten that we came to TP DES MOI to study, but rather it was module after module of fellowshipping.
sometimes we'd lower our volume when we're asking of something from other people. that is a sign of respect we gave each other saying: ok, you're my friend and I respect you. however right now i've got one favour to ask of you.
there's a gentleman in all the guys of this class. and i know it's not true that we are all bad by nature that we find some people more challenging to accept. it's just simply something beyond our reach, at the very least, everyone of us tried to accept the differences of every people. this is not self-centeredness. perhaps through time we'll all learn new things that'll ease our ways of living, and maybe a bigger heart for all things.
i really feel that everyone in this class has a heart that can care, and do care. I knew when we looked straight into one another's eyes. people with these qualities dont just come everytime in your life. so i must really learn to treasure each and every person in the class man..
selfish people in this class? no man. all things(sch work) will pass but friendship stays and lasts.
if we're really selfish why would anyone of us even bothered to give our efforts?
i say we still have some purity left in us despite having our design cells in us.
truth as i see so, i'm glad we'd made a good investment in bonding with each other. than self-centeredly pursue to be the famous design student exalted high. even the most self-driven ppl in our class gave time to others. what have we all heard abt the other two MOI classes? not bonded right. ununited right. always got the slackcious lecturers right. All HAIL to us man! we've walked many paths, and this 5months+ is packed with more bits and pieces of life than the other two 5months+ the other classes had gone through.
I say, we always initiate to show our concern and good wishes for others. when someone was hospitalised, ppl automatically suggest to go visit her[CreaST]. when someone misplaces his tumbdrive, we accompanied the person to help him find, make calls to people from the other side to check for his tumbdrive[ComDI]. when we're late for submissions, we respond in haste to help print the stuff of the other person's work[DigPhoFun]. when i was in an unexpected shortage of money to do an emergency photo printing, someone just lend me his money, and it wasnt a small amount I'd say[DigPhoFun]. not enough money for lunch? "do you want $5?.[sem1]" construction paper, "why not we buy one or two whole packet as a class? so that it's cheaper[DrawEss]". "you can go ahead and use my paint although it cost a bomb.[3DArFun]". "hello, we're at Art Friend now.. who needs what??[3DArFun]". "my printer no ink! kester help me print![Idea]". "who needs a3 clear sheets?[Idea]". "guys, then later we meet up with the other team for dinner and we shun bian help them out ba. they are encountering much probs i think.[ComDI]". "WHO LOST THEIR PLIERS!?[3DArFun]". "you're not wasting my time la, cos i've promised you to be your model.[DigPhoFun]". "i liked this part, that part you can draw it this way it'll be better.. lemme show you...[DrawEss]". "i think your idea will make into a very great anime production![CreaSt]". "let's go movies, we'll dine CS' baked rice before that[sem1]". "u click here and there, off this layer and fill that, drag it here, tangent over there...[DigMedFun]." "wth alan talking sia?! help![DigMedFun]". "I can wait for you at the bustop while you come from your home to take back your sketchbook. I join the others at TM later, they can go first.[DrawEss]". "why you never come school? are you ok? drink more water ya?[ComDI, 3DArFun, DrawEss, CreaSt, DigMedFun]". "we wait for him/her to eat finish first. though he's not joing us later.[sem1]". coming class tee, continiuous birthday class celebrations, chalet, Sentosa, ECP, town, basketballings and STONINGs.
*pant* there's just so much to say man. and these are only those that I know of.
should I ever think that all these little acts are nothing, think again, me. they're priceless times.
who knows, that might be none in the coming new class/es...
It was so unexpected, unknown for 17-19 years in our own hometown we reunite now as a class for our first sem in poly.
God bless us :)
love,
M.O.I.
T-STONERS. or whatever the **** sheet we call ourselves!
Monday, September 8, 2008
just now when i was bathing i received a shocking revelation.
as i wash the lower portions of my right leg i realised i have indeed a great amount of hair there.
it was almost _n___n. no offence, just that the irony is i'm ____e_e.
and so i truely felt that my glorious position in the automatically established social hierarchy founded by western countries, is frightfully threatened.
nah i'm kiddin. i turned towards my left leg and saw a reduced amount of hair over there.. can anybody say "HUH??" ?
like my left leg is the woman of my legs and my right is the man; the legend. (^^ )y
i'm still a young boy, i want/need more time for myself, for being the bearer of your huge gifts.
i know your words i still believe.
i know i still havent let go of you God..
and dont please dont let go of me God.
while in the shower.. just a couple mins ago...
Monday, September 1, 2008
emergency announcement.
my handphone had spoilt.
you can still sms,
i can still sms.
i can call you,
you can call me,
i can hear you,
but you CANT hear me.
end of emergency announcement.
anyway there's gonna be a posting i've promised myself to post it sometime soon.
so be sure to catch it.
BYE. alone in school computer lab now T.T
wooO~