1) Changing of course to Psychology Studies.
2) Mother & son issues.
About no. 1)
Due to careperson-student confidentiality, I can't reveal much about what was said because it includes personal information about both her and me. But I can say that she had shed more light to my path by reassuring me on certain things that I wasn't sure if I have them. Some of them include unhappiness in going to school to attend classes, and another would be having the flair in drawing therefore a capable animation student to-be. (Although I chose to major in video.) She was sincere, and she said words true to her heart. She was understanding and reasonably positive all the time if I could say that. It wasn't just optimism but she really believed it from the bottom of her heart. She told me what to do, and I just wished that I wouldn't miss out any of them. The list goes as so:
- check for any changes in payment of school fees. [done]
- research and be informed about what the course teaches, not just know what Psychology is. [doing]
- fish out as many people from that course and talk to them. [doing (but need help)]
- be prepared when I'm meeting the course manager. [far from done]
About no. 2)
Same thing here, I can't reveal much because of the same reason. Nevertheless the main point she made was that my mother really cares for me. I don't want to be anyone but someone who keeps an open mind about that - a respect to the law of possibility. She said I am very blessed because I actually got the green light from my mother about changing my course. This is the biggest obstacle for any student she said. And she said that was because my mother really believe I will do my best in where I am. She told me my mum went looking for her enquiring and confessing personal things and the fact that she attended the parents' night shows that I'm really important to her. There are five love languages she said, and she told me to use my knowledge of them to my advantage. She suspects that both my mum and I are deprived because we don't know about love languages and thus haven't been "feeding" each other anything. I then confessed to my careperson that all the while I knew I'm giving the vibes to my mum that I don't want her around, and I did nothing to change that because it is indeed my time now as a teenager to hurt back her, for all the hurts she used to give me. I told her what were the vibes, and unpleasant(anti-humanity) confirmations, that my mother gave me when I was still young and innocent. My careperson understands. Timeout, before I further become a narrator narrating what happened. Ok, but anyway I just don't know how to put it, but I'm almost done. My careperson said she understands that hurt people hurt people. And that it's impossible to alter that fact. She then asked me do I still love my mother and I couldn't answer her. This was when she nods and says "Newell, your mum really, really cares for you" and she teared.
Should I too, cry?
11:54 PM 
